


Keep Holding On

by fictional_fangirl03



Category: Glee
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Child Abuse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, My First Fanfic, Past Violence, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:53:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23747134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictional_fangirl03/pseuds/fictional_fangirl03
Summary: Noah walks into glee and immediately his instincts tell him something is wrong. When he sees Rachel is uncharacteristically wearing makeup, his gut says something is very wrong. And when he finds out what happened, will he be able to help?
Relationships: Rachel Berry/Noah Puckerman
Comments: 9
Kudos: 80





	Keep Holding On

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I've ever uploaded. I love this ship so it felt like a good one to start with. Please comment your thoughts and criticisms. Much love and enjoy.

Noah Puckerman walked into glee and immediately knew something was wrong. As a child of trauma and abuse, he’s always had a pretty accurate radar for these things. He knew when people were hurt and lying to cover it and he always knew when he was in the presence of someone who hurts others like his dad. So when he walks through the door and instantaneously feels that someone near is hiding their pain, he is sure he must be losing it. This feels like that time when his Ma was trying to hide the fact that his dad had beat the shit out of her the night before, but everyone is here and no one looks like they’ve been beat up.

Puck is surveying the room when Mr. Shuester walks in and tells them all to quiet down. Puck is just about to admit that his gut must be wrong this time, when he notices a difference in color behind Rachel Berry’s ear. Why is she wearing what appears to be stage makeup? Actually, why is she wearing any makeup? Rachel never wore makeup outside of performances, especially not to school because she knew it would be gone as soon as she was slushied the first time that day. Come to think of it, she had been slushied today. Karafosky had gotten to her this afternoon when none of the glee jocks were in the hall and managed to douse her head to toe in slushy. There’s no way any makeup would remain after that, which means she reapplied. Is she performing something for glee today?

He needs her to turn around so he can see her face because something isn't adding up. A shove knocks him out of his reverie. 

“Earth to Puck? Are you listening?” Santana asks him with a confused expression, “Mr. Shue just said we’re starting a new dance number for regionals. Get up.”

Puck gets up and walks down the risers, listening to Mr. Shue explain the dance and assign partners.

“Alright, Guys this dance is going to be really hands on with quite a few lifts so you won’t be with your usual partners. I’m really partnering you up based on size, strength, and skill that way this performance will be really solid. So, Brittany and Mike, you guys will be our leading partners, then it’s Finn and Santana, Sam with Quinn, Puck and Rachel, Kurt and Tina, and Artie with Mercedes. Everybody find your partner and space out across the room so Brittany, Mike, and I can teach you this dance.”

Yes! Rachel is the perfect dance partner, but she’s always with Finn. Plus this way I can get a close look at her, see everything’s fine, and get back to focusing on glee practice and Berry’s tight little body in my hands.

“Hello, Noah” Rachel says with her usual mask of cheeriness. “It appears this dance is very sensual and while our week of romance was lovely, I’ll have to ask that you remain professional.”

“Whatever, Berry. Just try to keep your hands off of me” Puck retorts with his usual smirk. He watches as she appears to be blushing but it can only be seen on her ears where there isn’t any of the makeup that appears to be all over her face and down her neck. Never one for subtlety, Puck nods his head in question and asks, “What’s with the makeup, by the way?”

Rachel looks terrified for a split second before quickly schooling her expression and responding, “I’m just trying something out. Now get in position.” She thrusts his hands onto her hips and presses her back up against his front. Puck knows she is trying to change the subject, but he is a little busy trying to forget that her ass is pressed up against his dick.

They watch as Brittany and Mike demonstrate the first part of the dance and slowly explain the steps. Then, they’re told to run through as much as they can. Rachel, who has been in dance classes since she was in diapers, knows exactly what she’s doing and is leading Puck through the section. She gets into the starting position and begins to sway her hips as her hands slide up her body and loop around his neck. Puck’s hands follow the path hers took and then guide her arms out to the side. Rachel spins out and he pulls her gently back, so they’re chest to chest. She begins to sway her hips, but it doesn’t feel smooth like the rest of the dance has. She stops so abruptly that Puck thinks maybe he’s done something wrong. He takes a step back and removes his hands from her waist.

Glaring at him, Rachel huffs and rolls her eyes, pressing back up against him. He follows suit and puts his hands back on her hips as she begins to sway, but it still doesn’t feel right. Realisation crosses Rachel’s face and she leans back to look at him, inadvertently pushing their lower bodies together. 

“Noah, this would feel much more natural if you sway your hips as well. And your leg should be between mine, as if I were… um… grinding.” She says the last word in hesitation and Puck just laughs and shakes his head. Rachel “stop-being-so-incorrigible-noah” Berry is embarrassed about executing an assigned dance move when she had done the same move, if not more intimate (considering she was straddling him on her bed and kissing him) when they were actually dating.

They continue the dance until they get to the end of the first section, where Rachel is supposed to turn her back to him and take two running steps forward out of his grasp. He’s then supposed to lunge forward and pull her back, tight to his chest. They perform the beginning perfectly; but, when Puck wraps his arms around her stomach and jerks back, Rachel yelps and spins out of his arms. Suddenly that gut feeling that something is wrong is back and it’s even stronger. 

“Rach, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Rachel’s eyes are big and vulnerable as she looks back at him and he swears in his head that if someone hurt her, he’s going to kill them. “I’m fine. I just got dropped in dance class the other day and I guess I’m still just a little sore.”

He’s about to call her out on the obvious lie and get to the bottom of whatever is going on, when Mr. Shue comes over and asks to see what they’ve got so far. They perform the section flawlessly but Puck doesn’t grab Rachel at the end, claiming that he “forgot”. Mr. Shue tells them to keep practicing and as soon he’s out of ear shot, Rachel whirls around and glares at him.

“While I appreciate you not wanting to cause me pain, you don’t have to act like a complete moron,” she seethes, “Just grab me from my hips, instead of around my waist for the next few days.”

Puck blinks dazedly at her, but she just huffs and starts the dance again, before he can respond. They’re on their 3rd run through of the section as a group when Puck feels Rachel tense under his fingers. His intuition tells him something is very, VERY wrong when he looks around and spots a hung-over Leroy Berry glaring at them from the doorway. When the dance is over, Puck doesn’t let go of Rachel. Because, while his gut instinct on knowing who’s in pain isn’t always correct, his abuser radar has never been wrong and right now all the sirens and lights are flashing. 

“Rachel, let’s go,” Leroy orders. He then looks to Shue and says slurringly, “Sorry, Mr. Shuester, but Rachel has a doctor’s appointment and I wouldn’t want her to be late.”

Puck watches Mr. Shue nod in agreement and Rachel moves to gather her things. Puck grabs her forearm, “Rach-” he starts, but she cuts him off.

“You were a wonderful dance partner, Noah. Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Puck feels nauseous as his stomach twists. He knows something is wrong and he’s going to figure it out tomorrow. 

***

The next day in glee, Rachel is wearing even more makeup and her dancing seems a bit stiff. Puck was planning on waiting till they were alone after glee to question Rachel; but, when she flinches and whines in pain at his fingertips just barely grazing along her back, he can’t wait any longer.

“Rachel, what the hell?” he says warningly. “What happened?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” she replies quietly. She doesn’t make eye contact though and she looks like she’s about to cry.

“Rach-” he starts, but, realising it’s useless, cuts himself off. Instead he anchors her in place with a firm hand on her shoulder and quickly lifts the back of her shirt up a few inches before she can protest.

“Puck! What the hell are you-!” Santana starts, drawing the attention of the rest of the room.

Rachel pulls her shirt down, but it’s too late. They’ve already seen what Puck’s gut was telling him was there. A huge bruise colored the entire lower half of her back. Rachel is frozen under the staring eyes of the room, so Puck uses the opportunity to lift her shirt all the way up, stopping just below her bra. Rachel’s entire back, sides, and torso are black and blue with fresh bruises.

The entire glee club gasps, but Puck is too focused on Rachel to notice. “Rach?” he says gently, “Honey what’s under the makeup?”

She just looks at him, brown eyes swimming with unshed tears. Puck knows she won’t respond so he dampens a clean sweat towel from his gym bag with a water bottle and holds it up to her in question until she silently nods at him to continue. He threads his free hand gently into Rachel’s hair, placing a light kiss on her head. Wiping the towel across her face and neck as gently as possible, though she still whimpers in pain, he reveals a bruised cheekbone and lip on her face. His eyes track down to her neck and he almost throws up at the sight. Rachel’s small, fragile, neck has a huge handprint wrapping around it, dark bruising right over her windpipe. 

“Rachel, what in the name of Barbra happened to you?” Kurt breaks the silence in a scandalised tone.

Rachel doesn’t answer, instead she looks up into Puck’s knowing eyes. She’s pleading with him to do something to make this nightmare end and he feels his heart break. She’s too good for this and he just wants to make it better. “C’mere, Gorgeous,” he says, pulling her into a hug as she begins to sob.

The room breaks into chaos as half the gleeks start yelling about getting revenge on the bully or mugger that beat her up and the other half berates Rachel for not telling them. Puck tells them all to shut up because they don’t know what they’re talking about. The gleeks respond in uproar and he’s vaguely aware that they want to know how he seems to be clued in, but Puck’s sole focus is on Rachel. Her tiny body goes limp in his arms as she sobbs harder, so he sits down on the floor and pulls her into his lap. Rocking slowly he whispers in her ear, “shh. It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you now. You’re safe. I’m never gonna let this happen again, baby- I promise.” 

Puck’s uncharacteristically kind and gentle words must have shocked the gleeks because he realises they’ve stopped yelling. After a few more minutes of comforting words Rachel has stopped sobbing and is now just crying. Figuring that’s the calmest she’s going to be for awhile, Puck resumes his task of finding out exactly what happened.

“Rachel, baby, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but you gotta tell me what happened so that I can keep you safe,” Puck says. Rachel just nods minutely and tucks her head into his chest whimpering.

“Angel, look at me,” he says, pulling her away from his chest to look into her eyes. “Your Dad did this, didn’t he?... C’mon Rach tell me what happened.”

Rachel looks up at him warily, but the understanding in his eyes pushes her to reveal what happened. “A few weeks ago Daddy got called in on assignment somewhere in the Middle East. No contact with civilians and no set return date. He always hates to leave for those, but he went anyway because money has been tight since Dad started day drinking again and lost his job. Dad’s always had a short fuse, especially when drunk, but when he snaps it was always just yelling followed by him storming out to a bar somewhere.”

“Until this time,” Puck sighs, trying to control his building anger toward LeRoy. Rachel just nods and continues her story.

“I went to the store after dance class the other day so I could buy food to make dinner. I guess I forgot to call and let Dad know I’d be late, so when I got home and went up to my room he came storming in and yelling at me. I could tell he was drunk so I just kept quiet and waited for him to huff out, but he didn’t. Instead, he started hitting and shoving me. I tried to get to the bathroom so I could lock the door and give him some time to cool off, but he shoved me and I fell down. And I was trying to catch my breath and wrap my head around what was happening, but then he was next to me and he was so angry, and he kicked me.”

She takes a few grounding breaths and squeezes his hand tightly as she continues. “I-I had tried to stay quiet because shrieks and screams have always set Dad off, but then he threw one of the trophies from the shelf at me and it hit me hard enough to split the skin open. I screamed and then started crying. Dad looked so angry with me, like he hated me, and then he was squeezing my throat and yelling at me to shut up. I couldn’t breathe and my vision was closing in, but then Dad collapsed on the ground. I guess the alcohol finally knocked him out.” Rachel had rushed through her recollection, but it felt like an eternity to Puck as his stomach dropped out of him. 

“Oh my god! fuck,” he mumbles under his breath, holding Rachel to him as he tries to calm down. “Rachel, why didn’t you call me when he passed out? Or tell me the next day in glee? Why did you stay with him?”

“I told myself it was all because of the alcohol. And I know, I know that doesn’t make it okay. But he’s my Dad and there’s a loyalty there. He was still asleep when I left for school and then when he came to pick me up he said I was going to the doctor. I just assumed he woke up, remembered what he did, and was taking me to the hospital to make sure I was okay. But when I got in the car he was still angry with me and still a little drunk and then we got home and he shoved me and yelled at me for ‘pushing him’ to hurt me. Then he said he was going out to get a drink. I locked myself in my room and I tried everything I could to get ahold of Daddy, but I couldn’t.”

Rachel starts crying again, saying, “I honestly can’t tell you what I planned on doing after glee today." She begins to hyperventilate saying, "P-please don’t be mad. It’s just that every time I-I think about it, it hurts a-and I just… I just w-w-want it to stop hurting."

Puck rubs his hands up and down her arms soothingly. "I know sweetheart, I know. I’m not mad. You don't have to think about it anymore, okay? Let me take care of you. Will you let me do that?"

"I trust you Noah."

"Good, okay. Come home with me, alright? Ma will be happy to have you stay till Hiram gets back. It's her day off so when we get there she can check your injuries and tell us if we need to go to the hospital," Rachel starts to shake her head in protest at the mention of a hospital. "Rachel, you know that I know how this type of situation goes down. If Ma says you need to go, we go. But right now, one step at a time. Let's just get in the truck and drive back to my house."

Puck stands up, lifting Rachel with him and settling her on the ground. He turns to walk toward the risers and grab Rachel’s bag, but she grabs at his arm panickedly yelling, “DON’T!” 

Puck looks back at her eyes full of concern.

“Noah, please don’t let go.”

He pulls her into his arms tightly but trying to avoid bruises, one arm swung low around her back, hand flexing on her hip and the other tangled in her hair, holding her head securely to his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. Shit, I’ll never let go of you if that’s what you want baby. Please don’t be scared. I’ve got you, Rachel.” Puck shifts her in his hold so that she is tucked to his side, and then leads her across the room to grab their stuff. They start to make their way to the door, when Mr. Shue steps into their path.

“Whoa, Puck, slow your role. It’s very nice of you to offer up your house but I’m sure Rachel would rather stay with one of her friends,” he says, gesturing toward Kurt and Mercedes. “Don’t you think she’d be more comfortable with people she’s actually close with?”

“Yeah. Which is why she’s coming with me,” he responds seething. “God, do you actually think she’s close with any of these people? They do nothing but make fun of her. And none of them have ever once defended her!”

“Like she’s close with you either,” Quinn scoffs. “You used to give her slushy facials everyday.”

“I was an ass, you’re right. But I did all that shit because I was hurt, not because I hated or even didn’t like her. And I apologised to her and she forgave me,” Puck rants defensively. “None of you even know what you’re talking about. Rach and I are closer to each other than we are with any of you.”

“Right, and Hummel and I are lovers in the night,” Santana mocks amusedly. 

He can sense Rachel’s discomfort so he starts to absentmindedly trail his hand up and down her arm in a soothing pattern. “Rachel and I have been friends since diapers. Hell, we were best friends for a while. I’m pretty sure she’s comfortable with me enough to stay at my house given that I’ve seen her in her underwear more times than I have any other chick besides my sister who refused to wear pants when she was little.”

The shocked faces and the chorus of ‘WHAT’S?!” around the room alert Puck to what he’d just accidentally implied, but before he can correct them Rachel speaks up, and says casually, "Noah and I spent quite a few years sneaking into each other's room every other night to sleep together." 

The look on her face is so cute as she reminisces about their childhood, causing him to smile at her innocence.

"Rach, honey, that's not helping." Turning back to the gleeks he clarifies, "She means actual sleeping."

Rachel blushes at the implication and giggles a little into his side.

With a constipated look on his face, Finn asks, "But why were you in your underwear? I mean if you were just sleeping, why weren't you wearing pajamas?"

"And why were you sleeping with each other anyway?" Santana questions skeptically.

“I used to get nightmares a lot where I’d wake up screaming,” Rachel says quietly, ”still do sometimes. Daddy was deployed a lot more when I was younger and Dad just soundproofed my room as the solution. Noah found out and started sneaking through the window to sleep with me every night so I wouldn’t wake up alone.” She squeezes his hand and smiles up at him. “When he couldn’t come to my house I’d sneak out to his. His mom worked nights and Beks sleeps like the dead so we got away with it for quite a few years.”

“Yeah,” Puck says dazedly, head still stuck in the memories. Shaking himself, he continues, “Rach started sleeping in her underwear when she’d come to my house the same as I do, cuz my room gets real hot at night. It turned out that skin-to-skin contact calmed her down after a nightmare faster than anything else I’d tried so we just stuck with it,” he shrugs nonchalantly. 

Quinn looks at them in disbelief and then says, “You mean to tell me that Little Miss Prude goes into your room, discovers it’s hot, and just strips down to her underwear? With you also in your underwear?”

“It’s not like we hadn’t seen each other in our underwear before,” Rachel states, confused by their skepticism. “Our parents used to bathe us together as toddlers. And as soon as we could swim we’d go skinny dipping all the time. Noah, even spent an entire summer when we were 6 trying to pants me every time he saw me.” She laughs and shakes her head. “I tried to get him back once and ended up pulling his underwear down by accident in front of our parents.” She lets out a loud bark of laughter and then immediately gasps at the pain it causes.

“Easy there baby, you gotta be gentle with yourself. Are you okay?”

Rachel responds tiredly, “I’m fine Noah, thank you. I think I’d just like to go soon if that’s alright?”

“As you wish.” He bows exaggeratedly in an attempt to make her smile. It works. “Alright guys, we’re outta here. Rachel can fill y’all in tomorrow if she’d like, but right now she needs to be checked out and then get some rest.”

The gleeks chorus a goodbye as Puck leads Rachel into the parking lot. He helps her up into the passenger seat and then stands outside the door while he calls his mom to let her know what’s going on. Rachel nervously watches him out the window, realizing that this is the first time Noah hasn’t been touching her since glee started. As he climbs into the car, Rachel slides herself across the bench and tucks herself under his arm. Contentment rushes through her body as she feels safe again wrapped in Noah’s arms.

Surprised, Puck takes a minute to respond. Returning the embrace he says, “I’m so sorry this happened to you, baby. You don’t deserve it. You know that right? That none of this is your fault?”

She noods.“I just want it to be over. It’s not even the pain that’s bothering me, it’s the fear. He’s not even here and I’m scared, Noah. Why can't I stop being afraid?”

“You will Baby, I promise, you won’t be scared forever. It’ll just take some time. And until then, you can hold onto me whenever you’re afraid.”

“Thank you, Noah.”

**Author's Note:**

> I might add more to this, but for now that's all. Comment if you'd be interested in more of this story.


End file.
